Wilhelm Reich in Hell

I have decided that everyone needs to read the introduction to the New Falcon edition of Robert Anton Wilson's Wilhelm Reich in Hell.

The Introduction is from page 3 to page 46. Read it. Now.

The link is the title, as usual.

Physicists Prove That Vampires Could Not Exist

Unfortunately, the entire premise of this recent academic paper was refuted - or is it retro-refuted? - by some other moron scientists in the 80's and 90's.

Essentially, these guys are trying to say that if vampires existed, they would turn all humans into vampires in a very short time. Thus, humans now = no vampires ever. What a load of fucking bullshit.

Other science jerks have already authored papers demonstrating that to be an idiotic, pseudo-scientific proposition.

For one thing, vampires don't turn everyone they bite! Furthermore, there are so many assumptions made by these physicists that Occam would be slitting his fucking wrists! I can't stand when scientists who clearly don't know what they are talking about are able to get their trash published.

Suggested reading would be the earlier papers mentioned in the linked article. My personal favorites being those from 1982, a particularly noteworthy year for the study of Vampire Economics.

"Macroeconomic Policy and the Optimal Destruction of Vampires" (The Journal of Political Economy, June 1982)

And "the landmark 1982 paper", "The Transylvanian Problem of Renewable Resources".

Mustachioed Murray Mayor Mows Maw for Miracles

Or: The Mustache Institute Waxes Political.


Rollie Fingers is not actually the mayor of Murray, Utah.

Global Warming Will Cause Giant Fucking Bulletproof Man-Eating Spiders

You can't make this stuff up... so other people have to!

Hopefully, Global Warming activists, devolutionist vegetarians, sandal-wearing hippies, redneck Republicans, and other groups of people that I don't like are way tastier than me.


this guy will eat them, so we're safe... for now.